He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
