so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
