Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
