I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
