I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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