Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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