I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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