so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful