you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.