i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
