we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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