your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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