Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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