Christians are straight up FREAKS
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
