So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
