So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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