try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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