well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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