Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is my gift to your gina
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
