Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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