we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
did i walk over a car last night?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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