She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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