You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
