No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
