Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I deserve this hangover.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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