Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
