I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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