Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
