I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
