Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
