And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
