the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
