he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
