i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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