He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
