How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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