my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
