Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
