Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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