So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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