I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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