it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
