My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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