so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize