Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
