A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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