do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
