He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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