I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
