Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
