Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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