I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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