69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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