He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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