Sponge bath it is.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
