Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Even my vagina gasped.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
