Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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