How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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