im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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