we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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