Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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