Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's blow job season.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
