What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm experimenting with sincerity
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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