I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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