If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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