Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize