Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize