in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
