"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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