I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
false alarm, still single
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
