this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
