Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
