At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize