I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to have your abortion
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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