We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
